Saturday, July 16, 2016

Case Management, the Hardest Road, and Vera

Cleveland Cavaliers Power Forward LeBron James made a mention about why he believes "the Man" makes him "take the hardest road" right after the Cavaliers won the 2016 National Basketball Association (NBA) Championship.  It resonates with me in a way that it probably does with most Cleveland sports fans, or even Clevelanders at heart like myself.

Yeah, why is it that I take the hardest road?

Yeah, Vera.  Why do you take the hardest road?

Because shortcuts are for suckers?

Oh okay, sure.

I mean, let's face it.  Trying to find medical help in this autistically barren wasteland, to which I will forever and a day still call my home, is a literal and figurative pain in the ass.  For so many agencies that tell you to go to a location that deals with drug abusers and alcoholics (when you clearly have no problem with drugs or alcohol whatsoever) is pretty damn degrading.

After this past week, I discovered why I was sent to this one location.  It was explained to me by the patient evaluator as part of my intake process.  The majority of organizations (like the one my rabbi's wife works at, the autism website that helps Ohioans procure services, and the hospital system that only deals with autistic children and adolescents, but not adults or seniors, for example) apparently can't handle a case as depressing, traumatic, and down right severe as mine.

And that right there is supposed to make me feel even better about myself, how?

Think of it this way, Vera.  You're one in a million.

Fuck.  That's the song from Michalis Hatzigiannis that Dingbat chose for our never happened wedding.  Mine was "You're More Than Beautiful."  Yes, we had two wedding songs, both by the same artist and from the same album.

Who in the fuck is Michalis Hatzigiannis?

Heh, I get that same question from the Cleveland Subbed Culture about Steve Blum.

He's a voice actor?

Blum is a voice actor, yes.  Michalis (say: mee-KHA-lees) Hatzigiannis (say: ha-tzee-YAH-nees), however, is a Greek-language singer from Cyprus.

Fine.  You're one in a billion.  Better?

I can deal with that a bit, yes.

So, back to my discovery; this news has led me to have an appointment with my very first ever case manager at the end of the month.  Hopefully, this person will help me via guided living (what I call it; help with grocery shopping transport, making sure I do better on personal hygiene, hold me accountable for my budget and spending habits, etc.).  Also, this person will hopefully be a much better alternative to having to go through the County Board of Developmental Disabilities, since CCBDD thinks "so very highly" of me.

They don't see you as a paranoid schizophrenic?

Well, the patient evaluator thought I was schizophrenic for a second.  I never considered myself one.  I can look out beyond this laptop to the view of the Heinen's Grocery Store Rotunda and not see any Pokemon GO characters.  My mind's eyes and ears are a lot different than physically seeing something that is not actually there.

Well, have you even looked up the definition of paranoid schizophrenia?

I have.  First off, like complex posttraumatic stress disorder and Asperger syndrome, paranoid schizophrenia is not in the DSM-V as a diagnosis anymore.  Second, based on the criteria for symptoms, I am not like Starscream, who has epic delusions of grandeur, or is paranoid to the point of not trusting anybody or anyone completely.

I still think you should get that checked out.

Seriously, Dear Reader?

No, but at least it sounds good.

Oh my G-d, why do I even bother?

I'm just messing with you.

The hell you are.  Anyways, *ahem* I am looking forward to this case manager and hoping that I can find medical professionals that have a little bit of experience of working with autistic adults, willing and able to work with me so I can become as functional and happy as ever.

I still think you are a paranoid schizophrenic.

*takes a shoe off of their foot* Don't make me throw this at you, Dear Reader.

Where?  I'm like John Cena; YOU CAN'T SEE ME.

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