Thursday, December 29, 2016

Toxicity, Believing, and Vera

Oh no, not another blog post, Vera!

Stock photo.
Why the proverbial long face, Dear Reader?

Have you not been paying attention to the news?  Another celebrity died.  For each day you have been posting for Chanukah, someone who I have adored growing up as a kid passes away. And it's YOUR FAULT.

You're seriously blaming me for their deaths?  I'm disabled; I can't even hold a job of being a grim reaper, even if I wanted to.

Yeah, well....no more blog posts from you for the rest of 2016.  We can't afford to lose our national treasures.

Um, no.

What do you mean, "no"?

I said "NO."

Look, instead of fearing over who is going to die next, how about we celebrate and highlight folks who are still around (at the time of this entry being posted).

Oh yeah?  Like who?

A popular consensus likes Betty White. She is still around. She'll turn 95 in a few weeks.

Yes! We must protect her at all costs!

With what? Our looks?

VERA. THIS IS SERIOUS, BRUH.

*shakes head* You're more paranoid than I am, Dear Reader.  And that speaks volumes.

Do you realize how many people we lost this year?

Has it ever occurred to you that, maybe, why people are dying off is because, well, they are part of the Baby Boomer generation?  And that they have reached the age where their bodies end up expiring for whatever reason? 

Whoa. How did you come up with that?

I didn't.  A Facebook friend of mine shared that theory.

Okay, who else do we have left?

ME.

Well, okay. Yeah. Yay for Vera.

And yay for you, Dear Reader.

Why me?

Because you are also still with us, reading this post.

*sigh* True.  I'm talking about actual celebrities here.

And what, neither of our lives matter?

UGH. WHO ELSE IS STILL WITH US?

Bob Barker is still alive.  He just turned 93 not too long ago.

Oh, Mick Jagger, Keith Richards, Charlie Watts, and Ronnie Wood are still with us. And Bill Wyman and Mick Taylor, too!

Ha, that's because they have that cockroach blood in them. Fuckers.

Better that than The Force?

Low. Blow. Vera. Not cool.

Okay, fine. I retract. But you have to admit, this year had some highlights.  I mean, the one year the city of Cleveland finally wins a major sporting championship had to be in a year where we see a multi-millionaire socialite and businessman become the 45th President of the United States.  And the Chicago Cubs?  Wrigleyville finally got to party like it was 1908 all over again.

Is that all you got?

There's also this: #DIY vs. the Revival (c) in a 2 out of 3 falls match at NXT Takeover: Toronto. WWE has made this their Match of the Year for 2016.  Every time I watch this, some ghost starts cutting invisible onions in my presence.

Is THAT all you got?

Well, when you don't have to deal with satellite or cable television, and you can focus on things you really enjoy, like watching game shows and professional wrestling, it can take the edge off of more serious things, like my never ending saga over the Toothy Bastards.

Oh yeah....Mixter Menopausal.

Actually, I discovered that I'm not even menopausal.  I'm post menopausal, as I didn't go through the proper sputtering of what menopause does.  So, no perimenopause, as I thought I went through a year ago, and no menopause; just straight from normal healthy function to post menopause.  Heh, oops.

Sucks to be you, huh, Vera?

Nah.  As long as I have a roof over my head, food in my refrigerator and freezer, clothes on my back, and people that love and support me, things like credit card debt and body malfunctions are, well, just trivial.

Good on you!  Well done.

Thank you, Dear Reader.

Now, on to track my food intake, my activity, and my cash flow for 2017, starting on Sunday.

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