Friday, March 31, 2017

Bes-s-a-m-e-r Avenue, Yizkor for a Love Lost, and Vera

Welcome to a very special episode of This, That, and Vera.

What is this about, Vera?

It's about when you lose someone you love, and coming to terms with that loss.

Now who died?

*looks annoyed* You in a minute, Dear Reader, if you don't shaddup.

*eyebrow perk* Well, I can safely say that it isn't about some relationship, because you've been single for eons.

It is actually about a relationship. Just not the one you are thinking of.

Does it involve you?


Umm, okay.

I let someone go. And in the process, I also let two of my social media accounts sail off proverbially into the sunset.

Who? What? Huh?

After several months of reaching out to Mr. CML via Twitter, Facebook, and e-mail, I decided to walk away from him. For now.

Wait. Are you saying that you "broke up" with Steve Blum?

You can look at it like that.

After everything he has done for you? You are just going to pack up and go home?

That proverbial ship, with all the banterings and fun, sailed off sometime last year. I don't know if it had something to do with me losing my bus pass last May, my issues with Callie last June, or his nonstop verbatim given to him by his Lady M, but it's clear as day that how we interact with each other is no longer what it used to be.

And since I haven't heard any responses from him since May, I think it's safe to say that it's not something to do with him "being busy" all of the time.

Did you not go through something like this a few years ago or some shit?

I have. But after being persistent as fuck, Mr. CML would always respond to me. Now, I have decided not to be as annoying as hearing the bus automated stop calling Bessemer Avenue "Bes-s-a-m-e-r Avenue."

And since Mr. CML became a major reason why I stuck around on Twitter, without him, I became lost in a sea of random tweets of nonsense. So, along with my Periscope account, I have deactivated my Twitter account. In the next few weeks, I will be going through my other social media sources (DeviantArt, Ello, VKontakte, and Skype, to name a few) to see which ones I want to keep and which ones I want to purge.

Oh wow. I has a sad now.

You too, huh? Yeah, it sucks. If he ends up reaching out to me after him seeing this blog post, maybe he and I can have a meaningful conversation about where we stand as celebrity and fanbrat, respectively.

Unless he commits rape or murder, they're not going anywhere.

Aww Vera. I wish you nothing but the best from this point forward. You two seemed like a match made in fan fiction.

Well, when you look at my history, and ask folks who were close to me at the time, Mr. CML isn't the only one this autistic bratty brat brat promoted harder than this weekend's WrestleMania card.

There are folks who can attest how hard I promoted for Hugh Laurie.

There are folks who, to this day, can attest how hard I pledge allegiance to the Rolling Stones.

There are even folks who remember me and my fandoms before the Rolling Stones: Rod Stewart, Bryan Adams, Darkwing Duck, Chip n' Dale: Rescue Rangers, Scrooge McDuck, and Barker's Beauties.

Sometimes I feel like I morph into a new hype, like Madonna breaks barriers of fashion and pop culture. I find something, and I will promote the shit out of it. Maybe I should be a talent scout or something.

Maybe you should just relax.

I'm fine. The point is: I'm learning how to let go properly.

That's good, Vera. Now, what about the grudge with your family? Can you let that go as well?

You may see it as a grudge. I see it as never forgetting by never forgiving. I would never tell them that I would like to hang out with my remaining aunt or cousins from my mother's side of the family just so they "can assault" my parents again.

Tomorrow will be 2.5 years since I have heard anything from my parents. My parents won't reach out to me; they don't want to deal with the police should they attempt. They have to live with that, along with my recent observation that the reason why our dog, Chelsea, ending up passing away was through stenosis of the spine that could have been an effect from my parents' 2010 car accident. I may be broke af financially, but at least I don't have to take my parents' shit in order to have a couple of dollars to my name.

Still feel the bitter, huh?

It's not bitter that I feel. It's more of a relief. I no longer hold the pain inside of me at this very moment. It's quite the accomplishment since I started This, That, and Vera over two years ago.

I can only get better from here and now.

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