#BrokeBrilliance

Monday, 20170508

19:52 - Yeah, I had to stop the challenge. I'm disappointed, too.

My body ended up getting repulsed from the food. I don't know if it's from the lack of hot meals made at home, the type(s) of Whole 30 foods I was eating, or if my brain exposed itself a new disease that I will have to check out.

The good news is, I weighed myself after stopping the challenge. I ended up losing 5.6 pounds in just five days. That's not bad at all.

Other benefits I felt included a bit more energy and the clothes loosening up.

The biggest disappointment that I really did not achieve is the improvement of sleep. I know, my Fitbit sleep sensor is set to "Sensitive," not "Normal," but I deserve to get at least a good amount of sleep.

I will try this again on Sunday, June 4 at 00:00. I need more cooking appliances and preparation tools in order to make more hot meals.

This is only the beginning.
**********
13:17 - This is a first. Wait, I just said that earlier today. So, is this a second?

I asked the Whole 30 community if anyone else has experienced this eating "slime" phenomena. And as of right now, one moderator chimed in, saying that it is not common at all. It was a first for them.

What a time to discover that I could be a paranoid schizophrenic. 
**********
08:52 - Okay, this is a first. Even for me.

My body and/or brain has found a new attempt to make me think of the food I'm eating as "slime." My bitter half (I'm the better half, heh) is trying to convince me that when I think of food, it's all slime; all I have to eat is slime andnwhat I put into my mouth is slime and what I'm digesting is slime.

It's disgusting.

Then again, trying Kombucha tea and a health drink mix of water, apple juice for taste, and apple cider vinegar is only perpetuating the mindset.

Hopefully, this will pass soon. I like food. Slime, not so much. Reminds me of the 1980s-1990s American game show for children, "Double Dare."

Sunday, 20170507:

21:09 - Just got done with the weekend. And I think I did quite well, I must say.

On Saturday, I took a trip to Whole Foods (aka Whole Paycheck) to see what they carried (that's when I had asked someone on FB about my oral hygiene regimen). Sadly, there wasn't much that this store had, which was quite shocking. 

I did get a couple of standard fruit & nut bars which I used to by over 10 years ago (the priceof the bars didn't change at all, meanwhile). I also saw something that was advertised as "Whole 30 Approved," these protein bars made with fruit and meat. Like, meat meat. Cow, chicken, turkey, salmon, bison, venison, etc. So I got a couple of those.

The "meat bars," as they are known, were actually not bad. It's not recommended to scarf down, or eat multiples very quickly of, these bars. One will find themselves hugging their latrine in short time if they do.

I also tried some kombucha (I have no idea how to pronounce this word). I bought a small bottle, and what kombucha is it is fermented tea. Who knew tea could be fermented? What would fermented coffee be sold as?

At any rate, one whiff of this kombucha and it will knock you on your azz quick; it smells like vinegar solution. Upon taking a sip, it tasted pretty good; not great, but good. Then the aftertaste, or the finishing flavor upon taking a sip, had me recoil a bit; it tasted like vinegar solution. How in the got damn fuck did Lindsay Lohan make this shit hipster and such?

Then I went out to see my bestie in her city. She then told me about the "plays."

Huh? It turned out I misread her texts. She said that she was stage managing one show and had comp tickets to see one of her buddies at a different location on Sunday....at the same time I was supposed to meet up with my friends to celebrate a birthday movie matinee.

Well, shit.

I had to cancel the movie plans. That was on me (it was my fault). 

I was going to spend the weekend with my bestie. I'll take that trade anyday of the week and twice on Shabbat. 

So first, I had a comp (short for complimentary) ticket for the show she was stage managing, "Steel Magnolias." After the ahiw ended, we went up to Applebees for some late night grub. I had a 6 oz. steak, a baked potato with mustard, and steamed broccoli.

What was good about the meal is that the waitress was awesome enough to customize my order, making sure food was prepared so I would not get sick. Places like Applebees have come a long way from 2007, where it was a bitch and seven-eighths to have something made to order. This is progress; it helps in easing the burden of doing a challenge like Whole 30.

Today, I started with a small glass of orange juice and a banana. Then my bestie and I went to a local diner. Just like Applebees, they were able to customize my order of scrambled eggs, home fries (or semi-mashed fried potatoes), and bacon. Hallelujah. 

And during my wait for the meal, that's when the brain fog and the withdrawal headache decided to make an appearance. Together. The bastards.

Unlike previous times I did similar dietary changes, I didn't feel like I was dying. Instead, I felt a certain amount of peace within myself. It was like I ended up telling my body: "brat, you have been through worse trauma than this. It's only 30 days, not one got damn day at a time."

And that helped me get through the rest of the day, as we drove around, making a Starbucks stop for herself while I went to a Vitamin Shoppe a couple of doors away.

Even at the damn vitamin store, a good majority of products had some form of sugar or sweetener in it. The only thing I was able to get a couple of bottles of flavored sparkling water.

I never thought I would say this: but I'm starting to get sick and tired of flavored water.

Then, we went to see her friend in the theater production of "Don't Dress for Dinner." After that, we went to Chipotle, where I had a salad (with no dressing) with carnitas, mild tomato and green tomatillo salsa, and guacamole. Unlike flavored water, I love avocado. I could eat avocadoes every day. I accompanied my meal with some apple juice (because I was getting tired of the flavored water).

Finally, I returned to My Happy Place, and not a moment too soon. I had to bust out the headache medicine; it was getting bad.

So, again, I think I did quite well.

As I finish this update, I should note that I am barely keeping myself awake. My sleep, according to my Fitbit, has not yet improved. I wonder if I changed the setting from "sensitive" back to "normal" will make a difference. I'll see as I continue.

Saturday, 20170506:

A smartphone screen shot
of a conversation between
me and another person
about the Whole 30.
10:50 - Starting point: 20170503 at 1800

Hooray! It looks like I didn't fuck up my program after all, thanks to asking someone via FB about the oral products I used. (Note the overlines.)
**********
07:04 - Starting point: 20170505 at 2200

I made it through Shabbat services without a hitch.

So, what happened?

When I got home, I ate dinner. Afterwards, I brushed my teeth and rinsed out my mouth (I'm even trying to improve my oral hygiene for fuck's sake).

Then, I went to bed. And that's when my body started to tell me something.

I felt a tingle in my tummy. Odd, I thought. So, I went back to check the ingredients in the toothpaste and mouthwash.

Each had sorbitol and xylitol: both of them are sugar alcohols.

You mean to tell me that my body is so sensitive as fuck that after going 28 hours with no sugar in my system, my tummy inflames over a got damn toothpaste?

You're not supposed to eat toothpaste, Vera.

No shitski, Sherlockowitz. I didn't eat the toothpaste nor did I drink the mouthwash.

Okay, okay. Just checking.

At any rate, it just sucks that I have to restart the 720 hour clock because my mouth care regimen is compromised.

So, how are you going to be able to clean your teeth now?

I might try baking soda, hydrogen peroxide, and cloves. Mix those ingredients properly to form a paste to clean the teeth, gums, and tongue.

Either that or look up truly sugar-free mouth care products and see if I can afford them.

Anyway, another note of observation: during Shabbat services last night, I sang without feeling anything "stuck" to my vocal chords. It has been said that voice actors avoid dairy for this specific reason; to prevent mucus or phlegm buildup in voice box region. Bizarre, bizarre.

So, my next big challenge is today, where I will spend the night at my bestie's spot in the county adjacent to mine. I should be okay, if I managed to only have grape juice at the oneg.

Friday, 20170505:

08:54 - This morning, according to my Fitbit, I got just under 4.5 hours of quality sleep, which is a slight improvement from the previous night's rest. I have my alarm set for 0600 every morning so I can recalibrate my circadian rhythm and have better sleep.

Foodwise, I had various types of water, including the boring plain stuff, a slice of smoked salmon, some guacamole (which was a bit on the spicy side), slices of roast beef, a couple of mini Kosher dill pickles, and a couple of quartered artichoke hearts. I feel more confident in my food choices right now than I did 24 hours ago.

And since I'm expecting to experience one massive hella withdrawal crash, I should be able to rest up this weekend.

Except, that's not how life works.

It happens to be that this weekend, I have my first major test: continuing the Whole 30 without any fuckups.

Today, I go to synagogue for Shabbat services. I won't be able to eat hamotzi (say: hah-MOH-tsi), or bread, but I can drink p'ri hagafen (say: p-REE HAH-gah-fen), or "wine" (in my case, grape juice).

Tomorrow, I get to chill with my bestie and see a theatrical performance out near her and stay overnight.

And Sunday, I get to hang with some cool folks to celebrate a friend's birthday by seeing the movie "Guardians of the Galaxy, Vol. 2."

My goal? Not to fall flat on my butt due to the pending brain fog.

Thursday, 20170504:

21:52 - Starting point: 20170504 at 1800

Today, I started the Whole 30 challenge. And while I started at 0000 (12:00am), I have discovered that there are plenty of errors I made today, so my new 720-hour starting poiny is at 1800 (6:00pm).

Dude, sugar is in just about everything we, as residents of the United States, consume. And then, we wonder why this nation has such an epidemic of diabetes.

This morning, after I did my before weigh-in and body measurements, I ate some pecans with rosemary and herb that I received from a local food pantry last month. At one point, I saw the word "maltodextrin" and decided to see what it was.

It's a sweetener derived from both maltose and dextrose (wheat and corn sugars).

Fuck.

So all of those had to be put aside.

Later, I made a 3-egg scramble. It was good. I also had some water to wash it down. Afterwards, I did laundry. Nothing special.

Then my nap time hit. And I was exhausted. My Fitbit told me that I slept for shit last night. Unfortunately, I ended up napping for shit as well. Damn these vivid dreams.

Next, I finally bellied out of bed. The brain fog started to sink in as I rode on the rapid to Aldi. I made it to Aldi, but not before hitting up Taco Bell first. This was around 1730 (5:30pm). Yeah, Taco Bell is not Whole 30 compliant. But it did remind me that I need to have Whole 30 compliant noms at the ready.

When I did reach Aldi, I took my time going through each product I touched to see what ingredients were in it. Then I started asking myself a bunch of questions, like:
  • Why is there sugar in cheese?
  • Who puts sugar in their guacamole?
  • Can turkey breast be cooked without honey?
  • Why is canned tomatoes with basil and garlic 5 times cheaper than jarred chipotle-lime salsa?
  • What in the fuck is so got damn special about coconut oil?
  • Do foods really need to have sulfites in them?
  • Why is this shit so fucking expensive?
Yeah, I was surprised as to see just how many things had either sugar, artificial sweeteners, sulfites, and other preservatives in each item. 

Our nation's most impoverished residents are so morbidly obese is because the only foods available to them have an assload of sugar in them, designed to keep the fat in their bodies.

Well that just sucks canal water, doesn't it?

When I got home, I read the label of my multivitamin that I take once a day; it has polydextrose in it. *sigh* Out the vitamins go.

My medications, meanwhile, are the only exceptions to my Whole 30, because without them I would be dead. And I don't want to be dead right now.

Here's to hoping tomorrow will be better on my part to continue the Whole 30.

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